Im back from my 8days trip to Bangkok and Phuket. It was quite fun and happening but the bad thing is i was sick throughout the 8days. I was popping pills and antibiotic throughout the whole trip but my illness still couldn't recover. It was definitely frustrating.
Though it was a plainly relaxing trip, but i still visited alot of temples as the 8days fell on Vesak day. On the fourth day, i wanted to visit the famous big sleeping Buddha temple but the taxi driver drove me to another temple that i didn't intend to go.
After i reached the temple for some time then i realised it was actually the one of the Thailand King's temple. I was pretty delighted to unintentionally drop by. ^_^ Then one uncle appeared from no where and started talking to us in Teo Chew and brought us to one of the small houses behind the temple. I just followed him blindly and he brought us to see a monk.
I never thought much of it and just donated some money and daily stuffs to the monk. Much to my surprise, the uncle told me that this monk is the second highest monk in the temple. The monk did some fortune telling on me and my friends. Its like what other monks and fortune teller said about me. Nothing reallly new to me but im happy to meet him. He gave me a pendant before i left and it was a rewarding unintentional trip!
Nothing much to blog about my trip already except some strange happenings again. My best friend had much more strange encounters than me. Lol. Anyway here are some understanding of Buddha and his teaching. Its abit harder, so see whether you guys can catch it.
Buddha's teaching is a way of life, not a way of belief. His teaching is very scientific, very empirical, very practical. He is not a philosopher, not a metaphysician.
He is a very down-to-earth man. Buddha says that you can change your life, beliefs are not needed. In fact, beliefs are the barriers to real change. Start with no belief, start with not metaphysics, start with no dogma. Start absolutely naked and nude, with no theology, no ideology. Start Empty! Thats is the only way to come to truth.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Love
Although i understand that love and desire are the root of sufferings but i still can't help falling in love. Probably i still yearn for a warm hug from the girl and the care and concern that i will get.
But behind all these feelings lies many unpleasant feelings too. Quarrelling, debating, misunderstanding and finally the breakup. Do i really wanna go through all these again?
Perhaps my best friend will tell me to wake up my idea and snap out of it. She always DO. I'm going to forget about everything and lead my life naturally.
There are alot more things to life other than love. I can spend this love to more misfortunate people who are suffering. ^_^
Lovingkindness is giving others happiness..
Compassion is removing others' bitterness..
Joy is freeing others from suffering..
This is what i live for.
But behind all these feelings lies many unpleasant feelings too. Quarrelling, debating, misunderstanding and finally the breakup. Do i really wanna go through all these again?
Perhaps my best friend will tell me to wake up my idea and snap out of it. She always DO. I'm going to forget about everything and lead my life naturally.
There are alot more things to life other than love. I can spend this love to more misfortunate people who are suffering. ^_^
Lovingkindness is giving others happiness..
Compassion is removing others' bitterness..
Joy is freeing others from suffering..
This is what i live for.
Share your happiness
Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared....
Hatred never ceases by hatred,
but by love..
Happiness never decreases by being shared....
Hatred never ceases by hatred,
but by love..
Saturday, May 3, 2008
To All Married Couples and Singles Who Intend To Get Married
Please spend 10mins of your time to make a change in your life if possible...
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!
That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life! with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son will be having his exams in a months time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into the bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration, I will carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy.
Just to make our last days together bearable, I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms! His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.
I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning... This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute.. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote: 'I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart'.
The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance that matters. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
Relationships are made not to exploit, not to be broken.
We teach some by what we say
We teach some more by what we do
But we teach most by what we are
You don't get to choose how you are going to die, or when, but, you can decide how you are going to live, here and now.
Remember:
People will forget what you said ...
People will forget what you did ...
But people will never forget how you made them feel....
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!
That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life! with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son will be having his exams in a months time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into the bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration, I will carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy.
Just to make our last days together bearable, I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms! His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.
I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning... This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute.. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote: 'I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart'.
The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance that matters. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
Relationships are made not to exploit, not to be broken.
We teach some by what we say
We teach some more by what we do
But we teach most by what we are
You don't get to choose how you are going to die, or when, but, you can decide how you are going to live, here and now.
Remember:
People will forget what you said ...
People will forget what you did ...
But people will never forget how you made them feel....
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